Just Guyton

Social media is a strange place.

Somewhere along the way, having an opinion turned into believing everyone else is required to hear it.

And not just hear it.

Agree with it.

Because apparently, some people have been appointed the official Keepers of Correct Opinions on the internet, and the rest of us missed the ceremony.

These are the keyboard warriors.

Or, as I occasionally like to think of them, the Karens of the Internet.

And before somebody asks to speak to my manager over that sentence, let me clarify: Karen is a behavior, not a hairstyle.

You know the type.

They stumble across a post written by a complete stranger, disagree with something in it, and suddenly they know everything about that person—their intentions, their intelligence, their character, and probably what they had for breakfast.

And listen, disagreement is fine.

If you put something on the internet, somebody somewhere is probably going to disagree with it. That’s life.

But disagreement and disrespect are not the same thing.

It’s perfectly okay to say, “I don’t agree with that.”

It’s not okay to belittle someone, call them names, insult their intelligence, or make nasty assumptions about who they are simply because they don’t see something the same way you do.

There’s also this wonderful little invention called scrolling.

I use it all the time.

I’ve seen plenty of things online that I don’t agree with. I’ve seen things I thought were ridiculous. I’ve seen jokes that didn’t make me laugh.

And somehow, miraculously, I survived them all.

Which brings me to humor.

Humor is subjective.

Some people love sarcasm. Some love dry humor. Some like dark humor, satire, slapstick, puns, self-deprecating humor, or absurd nonsense.

And some of us will laugh uncontrollably at something so stupid that trying to explain why it’s funny only makes the situation worse.

There isn’t one universal version of funny.

Your sense of humor isn’t the measuring stick for everyone else’s.

Of course, jokes can cross lines. You are absolutely allowed to think something is in poor taste.

But not finding something funny doesn’t automatically mean nobody else should be allowed to laugh at it.

So, for anyone struggling with this concept, I’ve developed a very complicated instructional program.

How to Take a Joke You Don’t Find Funny

Step 1: Read the joke.

Step 2: Determine whether you find it funny.

Step 3: If yes, laugh.

Step 4: If no, keep scrolling.

Step 5: Congratulations. You have successfully survived a joke you didn’t like.

No manager was required.

The internet would be a much nicer place if we remembered that having access to someone’s post doesn’t give us authority over the person who wrote it.

You can disagree.

You can roll your eyes.

You can think something is stupid.

You can even think, “Well, that’s five seconds of my life I’m never getting back.”

And then you can move along.

Because there’s an actual human being on the other side of that screen.

And if you forget that—if you decide a difference of opinion is your invitation to insult, belittle, and attack a stranger—there’s always another option.

Delete.

And just like that, you have been transported to Delete Land.

A vast digital wilderness where keyboard warriors roam freely, clutching their half-written dissertations and desperately searching for the post they were arguing under five minutes ago.

Godspeed, little warriors.

I hope you find the manager.

— Guyton