Just Guyton

My granddaughter is two months away from turning three, and let me tell you—this child has a voice.

She knows what she likes. She knows what she wants. And she has absolutely no problem making sure the rest of us know too.

She calls me almost every day.

“Good morning, Nana.”

Then, because apparently we need to establish ownership first, she and her mom have the same argument.

“That’s MY Nana.”

“That’s my mom.”

“My Nana.”

“My mom.”

“MY NANA.”

Meanwhile, Nana is just sitting on the phone waiting for the custody dispute to be settled. 😂

Once she has established that I am, in fact, her Nana, we move on to the next order of business.

“Pawpaw?”

If Pawpaw is at work, I tell her so.

“Awwww.”

But if he’s home and she hears him say, “Hi, Lani!”

Her whole face lights up.

“HI PAWPAW!”

And then the meeting begins.

“I want Barbie house.”

“I want Monster High doll.”

“I want this.”

“I want that.”

She’s a smart girl. She knows exactly who to ask because Pawpaw will get that baby just about anything she wants.

What she doesn’t know is that the Barbie house Nana promised her for her third birthday is already sitting in our spare bedroom, waiting to be mailed.

So she can keep campaigning. 😂

The other day, she was out hiking when she spotted another person on the trail.

Most almost-three-year-olds might just wave.

Not Lani.

She started heading toward them yelling:

“A PEOPLE!”

And the person RAN FROM HER. 😂

I told her, “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to talk to strangers?”

Although, considering they were the one running away, I’m pretty sure they thought she was trying to adult-nap them.

This same tiny person also recently looked at a clerk in the grocery store and said:

“Whatever.”

Her mom was appropriately horrified.

Apparently, Lani has already mastered dismissing people before she’s even three. 😂

And she’s just as efficient when she decides our phone calls are over.

There’s no long goodbye.

No “Bye, Nana.”

No “I love you.”

She simply announces:

“Nana, no more.”

And hangs up.

Meeting adjourned.

Whatever. 😂💜