Just Guyton

There are many titles a woman carries throughout her lifetime. Daughter, sister, wife, and mother, just to name a few. Each comes with its own experiences, responsibilities, memories, and blessings. But I believe there’s something particularly special about the day you become a grandmother.

Suddenly, there’s this brand-new little person in the world who can wrap you around their tiny finger without even trying. And the funny thing is, you’re perfectly fine with it.

Now, when I was younger, I had a certain picture in my head of what being a grandmother would look like. You know the one. A sweet little old lady sitting in her rocking chair, knitting blankets, baking cookies, and occasionally reminding everyone to put on a sweater because it’s chilly outside.

Well, I hate to disappoint anyone, but that isn’t exactly how things have worked out around here.

For starters, I’m not particularly interested in sitting around waiting to get old. And besides, my husband and I have grandchildren who expect us to keep up with them.

Sometimes that means answering a FaceTime call. Sometimes it means listening to the latest adventures of a very entertaining little girl. And sometimes it means grabbing our controllers and heading into a Fortnite match.

Yes, you read that correctly. Fortnite.

Apparently, being a grandmother these days comes with a few responsibilities that previous generations might never have imagined. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m blessed with six grandchildren, and every single one of them holds a special place in my heart.

Unfortunately, our grandchildren live in different states. As much as I would love to be able to reach out and hug them whenever I wanted, life doesn’t always work out that way. We can’t just hop in the car and drive around the corner to see them, and we don’t get to spend every afternoon together.

But here’s the wonderful thing about living in the world we do today. We can still be part of their lives, even when there are hundreds of miles between us.

It just looks a little different.

With our grandsons, that usually means video games.

My husband, Chris, and I both enjoy playing Fortnite, and we’re pretty darn good at it, if I do say so myself. The boys have only recently started playing, but they’re catching on quickly.

And let me tell you, there’s something downright entertaining about playing video games with your grandchildren.

You’re not sitting on the sidelines watching them have all the fun. You’re right there in the middle of it, running around, working together, trying to stay alive, and occasionally wondering what in the world everybody else is doing.

There’s laughter, excitement, a little friendly competition, and plenty of moments when you find yourself laughing so hard you can barely concentrate on the game.

But perhaps my favorite part of the whole arrangement is what the boys call us.

You see, they call me Grandma.

Nothing unusual about that, right?

Well, my husband is another story.

The boys call him Dr. Doom.

Yes, you read that correctly, too.

Dr. Doom.

Not Grandpa. Not Granddad. Not Papaw.

Dr. Doom.

Now, before anybody starts wondering whether my husband is secretly plotting world domination, I should probably explain.

Dr. Doom is his gaming name. The boys started calling him that, and apparently, it stuck.

And when I say it stuck, I mean it stuck.

They don’t just call him Dr. Doom when we’re playing Fortnite. Oh, no. They call him Dr. Doom all the time.

We’re talking on the phone? Grandma and Dr. Doom.

Playing video games? Grandma and Dr. Doom.

Just having a regular conversation? You guessed it. Grandma and Dr. Doom.

I think it’s absolutely hilarious.

Somewhere out there are grandfathers being lovingly called Papa, Pops, or Granddad. Meanwhile, my husband is answering to the name of a comic-book supervillain.

And the funniest part is that the boys don’t think there’s anything unusual about it.

To them, that’s simply who we are.

Grandma and Dr. Doom.

I suppose every family has its own little traditions. Ours just happens to include a grandfather with a rather intimidating name.

But underneath all that humor is something I truly treasure.

Those Fortnite games are more than just entertainment. They’re time spent together. They’re conversations, laughter, and memories being made, even though we live miles apart.

The boys are learning something new, and we get to be part of it. We get to watch them improve, become more confident, and figure things out for themselves.

And one of these days, they might just get good enough to give Grandma and Dr. Doom a serious run for our money.

Of course, I don’t intend to make it easy for them.

Just because I’m their grandmother doesn’t mean I’m going to let them win.

Now, our granddaughter is an entirely different adventure.

With her, it’s FaceTime.

And let me tell y’all, that little girl could probably have her own television show.

She’s at that wonderful age when her personality seems to get bigger by the day. She’s always been a little sassy, and I do mean sassy.

Lately, she’s discovered that mocking her mother, or whoever else happens to be available, is apparently one of the funniest things in the world.

And she’s not the least bit shy about it.

Sometimes I catch myself wondering where she gets all that personality. Then I remember which family she comes from, and suddenly it doesn’t seem like much of a mystery.

She’s silly, expressive, full of surprises, and she knows perfectly well when she has an audience.

Every FaceTime call is its own little adventure. One minute, she’s making faces or being mischievous. The next, she’s repeating something somebody said, complete with her own little interpretation.

Just when you think you’ve seen everything, she comes up with something else.

But there’s one particular thing she does that absolutely cracks me up.

She can be right in the middle of one of her sassy little performances, carrying on and entertaining everybody, when suddenly she notices Chris.

And just like that, her entire demeanor changes.

“Oh, hi, Papaw!”

Sweet as sugar.

And there I am, laughing, because apparently Papaw gets an entirely different greeting from the rest of us.

With our granddaughter, we’re Nana and Papaw.

With the boys, we’re Grandma and Dr. Doom.

Same two people. Completely different names.

And somehow, it all makes perfect sense.

I think that’s one of the most wonderful things about grandchildren. Every relationship develops its own traditions, inside jokes, and little ways of showing affection.

No two grandchildren are exactly alike. They each have their own personalities, interests, and ways of looking at the world.

As grandparents, we get the privilege of discovering those differences. We get to learn what makes them laugh, what excites them, what they’re interested in, and what sort of mischief they might be planning next.

And sometimes, we even get to be part of that mischief.

Within reason, of course.

I am still a responsible adult.

Well, most of the time.

But as much as I enjoy the laughter and silliness, there’s something much more meaningful about all these little interactions.

Our grandchildren know we’re here.

They know they can call us, talk to us, tell us about their day, and share the things they enjoy. They know that even though we live in different states, they’re still part of our everyday lives.

And I think that’s important.

When I was growing up, keeping in touch with family members who lived far away wasn’t nearly as simple as it is today.

Long-distance phone calls were something people actually had to think about. Letters took days to arrive, and the idea of seeing somebody’s face while talking to them sounded like something straight out of a science-fiction movie.

Now, we can pick up a phone and see the people we love almost instantly.

We can watch a grandchild make a silly face from hundreds of miles away. We can hear their laughter, see how much they’ve grown, and even play video games together without ever leaving our own homes.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Technology certainly has its drawbacks. I think we can all agree on that.

But when it comes to keeping families connected, I believe it can also be a wonderful blessing.

And I’m grateful for it.

Because I don’t want my grandchildren growing up thinking of us as distant relatives they only hear from on birthdays or holidays.

I want them to know us.

I want them to know our voices, our personalities, our sense of humor, and apparently, our gaming abilities.

I want the boys to remember that Grandma was willing to jump into Fortnite with them and that Dr. Doom was right there beside her.

I want our granddaughter to remember that Nana and Papaw were always happy to answer a FaceTime call, even if it meant becoming the latest targets of her little comedy routine.

More than anything, I want them to understand that distance never meant disinterest.

It never meant they were forgotten, and it certainly never meant they were loved any less.

Because being a grandparent isn’t just about being physically present. It’s about being emotionally present, too.

It’s about making an effort, finding ways to connect, taking an interest in the things that matter to them, and making sure they know they’re important to you.

Of course, there are things I wish were different.

I’d love to have more opportunities for spontaneous hugs, more time spent together in person, and more of those ordinary moments that don’t require a screen or an internet connection.

And I’m certainly not going to pretend that a video call can replace the feeling of holding your grandchild in your arms.

It can’t.

There are days when the distance feels especially far, and I wish things were different.

But I’m not going to let those miles become the only thing that defines our relationship.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that love has a remarkable way of finding a path.

Sometimes that path leads across a living room. Sometimes it leads down a highway. And sometimes, believe it or not, it travels through a phone screen or a video game.

What matters is that we keep finding our way back to one another.

Being a grandmother has also given me a different appreciation for just how quickly time passes.

When you’re raising your own children, life can feel like one long list of things that need to get done. You’re making meals, doing laundry, keeping schedules, and trying to make sure everybody has what they need.

And before you know it, those little children are grown.

Then one day, you find yourself looking at your grandchildren and seeing little reminders of the children you once raised.

A familiar expression, a certain laugh, a mischievous smile, or maybe even a stubborn streak that makes you think, “Well, I know exactly where that came from.”

And suddenly, you realize just how quickly the years have gone by.

Now you’re watching another generation discover the world, only this time, you’re seeing it through the eyes of a grandmother.

And I think there’s something pretty special about that.

You understand a little better how quickly childhood passes. You appreciate the little moments more, and you begin to realize that the things children remember aren’t always the expensive gifts or elaborate plans.

Sometimes, what they remember most is who made time for them.

Who listened when they had something to say. Who laughed with them, showed up for them, and made them feel loved.

That’s the kind of grandmother I want to be.

I don’t need to be perfect. I don’t need to have all the answers, and I certainly don’t need to fit somebody else’s idea of what a grandmother is supposed to look like.

I just want my grandchildren to know that they matter.

That they’re loved, that they can be themselves around us, and that no matter how old they get, there will always be someone cheering them on.

I want them to grow up with stories they can tell.

Maybe someday, when they’re adults, the boys will laugh about how their grandmother used to play Fortnite with them.

Maybe they’ll remember when they were first learning the game and Grandma and Dr. Doom were the experienced players.

Maybe our granddaughter will look back at those FaceTime calls and laugh when she realizes just how much she entertained us.

And maybe, just maybe, they’ll understand that those moments meant every bit as much to us as they did to them.

I certainly hope so.

Because what might seem like an ordinary afternoon to a child can become a treasured memory for a grandparent.

A few minutes of laughter, a familiar voice, or a little face appearing on a screen can stay with you for years.

And if there’s one thing I’ve come to appreciate more as I’ve gotten older, it’s that we shouldn’t take those moments for granted.

Life doesn’t wait around for the perfect occasion.

It’s happening right now, in the ordinary conversations, the unexpected laughter, the silly faces on FaceTime, and yes, even in the middle of a Fortnite match.

Being a grandmother has taught me that family doesn’t always look the way we imagined it would.

Sometimes our loved ones live close enough to visit whenever we please. Sometimes they live several states away.

Sometimes we gather around the same table, and sometimes we gather around separate screens, laughing together as though we’re sitting in the same room.

But the love is still there, the connection is still there, and the memories are still being made.

I may not be the grandmother sitting in a rocking chair knitting sweaters. My husband may not answer to a traditional grandfather name, and our family gatherings may occasionally involve gaming headsets and a reliable internet connection.

But I wouldn’t trade the relationships we’re building for anything.

Because at the end of the day, being a grandmother isn’t about a particular name, a certain age, or how many miles separate you from your grandchildren.

It’s about loving them, showing up for them, finding joy in the little things, and making sure they know they’ll always have a place in your life.

So, if you happen to hear somebody calling for Grandma and Dr. Doom, don’t be alarmed.

We’re probably just spending time with the boys.

And if you hear a little voice sweetly announce, “Oh, hi, Papaw!” there’s a pretty good chance our granddaughter has just spotted her favorite audience member.

As for me, I’ll be right there, laughing, enjoying every minute, and being grateful that even across state lines, we still get to share our days together.

Because the miles may keep us from holding their hands every day, but they’ll never keep us from holding them in our hearts.

— GUYTON